Storytelling

I am a storyteller.
Always have been, ever since I can remember. As a child, I would make up stories in my head with seemingly real characters, enacting scenes from a make believe world. Being an only child, these stories have been an unending source of self entertainment.

Years later, I'm still making up stories ...
Be it writing down something based on a word/ phrase by a friend; or pretending to be a person I am not, to a complete stranger.
We all have stories to tell, it's just that some of us tell them better than the others.

These pages will provide occasional glimpses into my imaginary world through the myriad "stories" narrated henceforth.
However, as stated, these are figments of my imagination, and should be accepted as such, without any attempt to read anything in between the lines!


1. Power cut
As I lighted the candle, with the soft glow illuminating the room ... I could see the shadows dancing across the wall. Like the shadows in my mind. Light and darkness. Leaping and threatening to bring back the memories that have been buried under for so long. Why tonight, of all nights?

I made some coffee and sat in the balcony...an oasis of darkness in the middle of glaring lights. I looked up, but the stars weren't visible. Too much city lights. Inadvertently my mind went to another dark night - on the highway. Sitting on the bonnet of my car, and watching the star-filled sky. I was happy, and I wasn't...alone.
The phone rang, breaking into my reverie...
It was the electrician, asking if he can come tomorrow as it's too late. I agreed. Drinking off the last dregs of the coffee, I got up and went inside. The thread of thought was broken, and as I blew off the candle, the shadows disappeared too. Maybe waiting to come, some other time ............


2. Home coming

As she walked through the terminal towards the exit, she could see the eager faces of people waiting to meet their loved ones...and she suddenly felt all alone. Here she was, travelling all the way from the East to the South for something that may change her life forever, and no one was there to meet her at the airport. Her friend just had to work, and the man who promised to come...had disappeared. She knew he would not come after all. Still she paused at the waiting lounge to scan the faces around, hoping against hope that a smiling face would come and engulf her in a hug. “Snap out of it”, her mind admonished her, “you know he won't be here”. After one last wistful glance, she exited the airport.

It was almost midnight. As the cab raced through the highway towards the city, she sat overwhelmed with mixed emotions. Exhilaration for being there at last, in pursuit of her heart and soul, and disappointment at broken promises. Her eyes stung with unshed tears … and she wasn't sure whether they were of joy or sadness. As the distance to her destination gradually reduced, she felt the bitterness being washed away by a sense of pure happiness. At letting go of all inhibitions and following her heart's desire. There's no place for sorrows or doubts...she was 'home'.

And she posted her first tweet expressing the feelings of anticipation and excitement to the world ...…...


3. Blast from the past

The phone rang, it's shrill sound making her jump violently. She was already jittery with the cyclone raging outside, the fierce rain pounding against the glass shutters, and the wind whistling like a siren, stretching her already strained nerves to almost breaking point. She was alone in the house, cellular services were down, as was the power, and the only contact she had with the outside world was the fixed line. Thinking it would be her parents trying to reach her, she hurried to take the call.

“Hello”, she breathed into the mouthpiece. There was a moment's pause. Then came a voice from the other end…...so unexpected, so familiar, so craved for. She almost dropped the receiver in shock.

“Hello, how are you?” - the voice in her long lost dreams asked.

Her heart racing like a piston, she opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. It was as if her tongue had been tied with the heaviest of chains. She swallowed once, twice, and tried again.

“Hello, who's this?” - she squeaked into the instrument, breathless from trepidation, and something else...excitement?

“Can't recognize me now, is it?” - that dearly beloved voice asked.

There was no doubt at all. But how? Why?? After all these years, when she had almost convinced herself that she had forgotten him, that the memories had been buried in the deepest corner of her heart…...why now???

She couldn't believe he was calling her, after all it's been almost 10 years. She was sure he had forgotten her, just as callously, as he had thrown her out of his life without any second thought. With hands shaking, she gripped the handset tightly and with a voice hoarse with suppressed emotions, whispered, “J, is that you?”, using the intial only reserved for him.

There was a pause so long that she thought he had hung up. But before she could gather her scattered wits about, the voice came again, grave and a little cold.

“Is this 2******4?”

That was not her number! “No-no”, she stuttered.

“Oh, it must be wrong number then. Sorry to bother you”, he said. And the phone was disconnected.

She gasped in shock. She stared at the phone uncomprehendingly for a few seconds and then dropped it to it's cradle with an unsteady hand.

Why, why, why, damn it?? It wasn't a wrong number, like he claimed. She could bet her life on that. That could not have been such a coincidence. This was deliberate, though she could hardly fathom the motivation behind it. Curiosity, last vestiges of affection for her, or sadistic pleasure in tormenting her when she had all but moved on?

She sank down on the sofa, and hugged herself … hot tears ran down her cheeks as she struggled to control the turbulence inside her. The storm raged outside, muffling any sound that might have escaped her trembling lips. Deep down her heart seemed to be broken into all those million pieces that she had so painstakingly put together, over all these years!

The phone trilled again, and she rushed to grab the set.

“H-hello”, she whispered.
“Hello, where have you been? We have been trying to call you for ages”, her mother’s frantic voice floated down the line. “Who were you talking to, the number was coming engaged!”
For a few seconds she was at a loss for words.

“Hello, hello? Are you there, Bubu?”

And the childhood name in her mother’s voice brought her back … to her senses from that momentary madness. She found her voice, and in that, herself. She laughed, a beautiful sound making her mother smile on the other side. “No one, Maa. It was a wrong number. Are you all alright?”

As she listened to her mother giving a long drawn description of their predicament in the stormy weather, she closed the door to her past and locked it once again … willing herself to move forward and not look back. She had fought hard to become the strong, independent and successful woman that she was today, coming a long way from a damaged self worth and battered pride and dignity; and she would not let anyone, anyone, take that away from her. Ever!

4. The Meadow
She opened her eyes, and looked around, still dazed from the deep sleep. They lay side by side on the beautiful green pastures under the mild winter sun.
"Where are we?" She asked, surprised. "And... How did we get here?!" The man next to her lay quiet. Looking at her keenly, caressing her hair with one long finger.
"Surprise...!!!" He whispered.



She lifted startled eyes to him. And looked deep into his. A searching, penetrating glance, as if she was looking into the deepest, darkest corners of his soul. She felt him stiffen slightly, his eyes narrowed. He seemed defensive...Why? She wondered. She turned her head slightly away, closed her eyes and sighed. She could feel the gaze of the man lying beside her, propped up on his elbow...like a soft caress. Her wide forehead, still unmarred by lines...age seemed to be taking time to catch up with her. Her smooth, rounded cheeks, her rosy full lips under an aquiline nose...curved slightly as if she's enjoying some secret joke. The long expanse of her neck where a pulse beat at the base of her throat. Her breath came slow and deep, her face resembled the stillness of the deep lake on the other side of the meadow.

She was wearing the flowy, white dress she bought a month ago. It left her legs and hands bare...sun kissed and glowing.
She sensed his eyes on her and her lips curved higher up...what exactly did he want??

"Come here babe." He said finally. "It's ok.." he assured.
He gently pulled her in his arms, close to him, like a lover would. He looked into her eyes and asked, “Where were you all these years…?”

She broke away, and opened her eyes. His eyes were dark, with desire and something else that she could not quite grasp, boring into hers...trying to gauge her reaction. Her eyes, clear as the water of the lake, held his gaze for a long time. Her lips curved into that mysterious smile. She lowered her hand from his heart which had quickened and turned away. She looked towards the setting sun and shivered...was  it just cold or something else?? She shook her head as if to ward away whatever it was, and sat up. Turning to him, she said, "Come, let's go. It's getting late." The man behind her could see she's back in control...did she even lose it for once? She smiled and held out her hand..."Come."
“Let's watch the sunset, miss!” he said. “What’s the hurry!” he said taking her hand and pulling her down again. “Come here… Sit down.” Both sat looking at the orange hues of the sky as the sun set far away. He put an arm around her waist and rubbed her back gently. He had sensed that she was feeling cold. The flimsy dress was indeed no protection for the cold breeze that had started blowing from the east. “Here...” he tugged his jacket around her body, hugging her tightly and they sat together feeling the warmth of their bodies. “Babe, why do you want to leave?” he asked. His fingers caressed her cheek very gently. Her eyes gleamed like the water in the lake which sparkled when the night started to blanket the meadow. He took her hand and placed it on his heart. “Tell me.. What is it?”
She smiled to herself as she felt his heartbeat accelerate. It was exhilarating to feel the effect she was having on him, a man who by his own admission, is immune to the charms of even the most beautiful of women. Although it was too far-fetched and she didn’t believe it much. Her smile changed into a grimace. The truth was, he considered her a challenge...this simple, teacher from a distant city, rebuffing his advances, which he probably had never encountered before. She was a conquest...a new feather to be added to his cap, and her reticence was only making him all the more determined to go all-out to woo her. On her part, she liked him for his intelligence, which matched hers, and she responded to him on a primal level.
She chuckled. A soft sound in the onsetting dusk. As she leaned back against him, she felt him draw his breath sharply, and his hands tightened around her. She could feel his taut body, warmth emanating from him and engulfing her. She breathed in the intoxicating fragrance of the meadows, mixed with his distinctive musky smell, and sighed. She knew he was smiling even without looking at him.

The night sky was glittering overhead. The moonlight shone on her wet lips. "You're no ordinary girl yourself...are you?” he said. “ Very beautiful, very complex, very challenging and yet so confined...Why are you so? You want to leave, as if you want to run way. Why?" She said nothing but shifted against him. "Ok, I won't ask. Alright!" He said kissing the side of her forehead.
She opened her eyes and looked up at the stars glittering in the dark sky. Did he think it was all so easy? He would never be able to solve the mysteries of her fathomless mind. That would take a lifetime, and an exceptional man. A man who would penetrate her soul and revere her spirit. She was sure there wasn’t any man who was worthy enough. Not even the man she had once loved so desperately.
She turned in his embrace, her eyes glittering like jewels...and the darkness hid her expression. With a smile that did not reach her eyes, as cold as the waters of the lake, she said, “No, I don’t want to leave. Not anymore.” As his eyes flickered in surprise, she reached up………

5. A Goodbye and a Thank You

"Do not be alarmed, Sir ji, on receiving this mail, by the apprehension of its containing any repetition of those sentiments or renewal of those offers which are so unwelcome to you now. I write without any intention of paining you, or humbling myself, by dwelling on wishes which cannot be fulfilled. Whatever it may be that I lack, self respect is not one of them.

I was on the verge of quitting the dating site, courtesy dreary personalities and dubious characters with questionable status...when our paths crossed. Your honesty was appreciated and your writings, among other things, deeply admired. Two storytellers, from two distant cities, meeting virtually, and being attracted to each other...what were the odds? But my instincts said it was all too good to be true, and I’d learned to trust my instincts over the years. To be honest, I did not expect this, ‘association’ (in want of a better word) to last long. In fact, I didn’t expect anything. My life, since long, has taught me not to have expectations, from anything or anyone. Taking one day at a time, living in the moment - has been my mantra, and it has stood me in good stead. For me, each day is a little lifetime, because I may not be able to experience it ever again, and there is no place for anger or disappointments. You may have had your reasons, I will not try to persuade you otherwise, nor attempt to rationalize it. All I wish to say is that every moment spent had been beautiful, noteworthy and I’ll cherish them always. No one had touched my mind the way you did, since a very long time, and it was exhilarating to say the least. I had never interacted with anyone I didn't know on such an intimate level before, much less somebody I hadn't even met...being so open and uninhibited with a complete stranger had been stimulating and unnerving at the same time, but I would have not let this experience pass me by for anything.

I do realize that this mail will not warrant a response. Propriety may demand a reply, I, however, do not expect it.

Thank you once again, for everything. I have only good memories to take with me, and no bitterness or regret.

In the hope that you may achieve more accolades and commendations, and that you’ll finally find the happiness and peace you are searching for……

Adieu.

Yours truly…"

6. Love in the afternoon

She put her hand to her ear to take off the earring and found it missing. Infact, none of them were there. Her eyes widened as she realized that they were left behind in the hotel room. How could she forget about them? She looked at herself in the mirror, ears bare of adornment. She wondered, who would find them? What would they think? That here had been an afternoon spent in love...of languid caresses and slow kisses. Limbs entwined, soft laughter and whispered words, breathing into each other's distinctive smell...would they find traces of the fragrance of that love lingering still? On the pillow, in the messy bed sheets...even the earrings? Maybe someone else would wear them now...her lover would say they looked beautiful on her, and the tiny ornament would be witness to another love.

She smiled, absentmindedly touching the mark made by her lover on her neck...let the earrings be lost. As a remembrance to the sultry afternoon gone by...

7. Wanderings 

She typed the title “Wanderings” and paused. And her mind went blank. Her fingers poised over the keyboard, she waited for the words to flow...but there was nothing, not a thing, zilch! She stared at the screen, which stared back, as if mocking her. What was wrong with her? She, who was never at a loss for words? She racked her brain where words usually seem to jostle for space, but today it was eerily empty. She slumped back into her chair, a tiny frown marring that wide forehead...was she having what was called the “writer's block”? Surely not. The killing work pressure and the stress of the last few months were over, life was almost back to the usual relaxed pace...and she had all but brushed away the traces of the last relationship from her life. She’d once read somewhere, the end of a relationship might bring about a block in the creativity. But was it even that significant, to affect her like this?  She knew the end was inevitable, even before it started...for it was never meant to be permanent. Which is why she didn’t like being taken for granted. Like a girlfriend, or a wife...waiting at the sidelines, for the crumbs of attention to be thrown at her way every now and then. Time was short, and she wanted it to be bestowed to her, as long as she was there in his life.

She got up and stood by the window, looking outside. The world went about its work and she stood there, in her own little reflective space. That he’d found her attractive and desirable was always evident in his behaviour and actions. And why not, she was all that, and more. But the inconsistencies in his behaviour...blowing hot and cold, got onto her nerves. She never expected exclusivity nor did she demand it. There would be others, she was sure there were…...pathological seeker that he was. But that never bothered her, she wasn’t in love with him after all. She stopped, and her nostrils flared in renewed anger. The nerve of the man...to imply and even assume that she was falling in love with him! Had it not been galling, it would have been quite funny. Pity, she didn't feel like laughing. Falling in love...with him?! What did he think of himself? Even more, what did he think of her? That her tongue-in-cheek assertions of wanting him were declarations of love? She knew he was conceited and egoistic, but this had to take the cake. An emotional woman in love would not work to his advantage, it would complicate matters indeed and so he decided to be distant and withdrawn. Not that there was anything to withdraw from. Her heart was never meant for him in the first place. Cold, calculating and ruthless, not to mention unscrupulous...he was her antithesis. Devil’s advocate! She didn’t even like him much, for that matter. The only thing that drew her to him was his exceptionally sharp mind and an uncanny ability to disconcert her with his words, which had triggered an intense attraction in her. A wave of involuntary longing swept across her even now, and she shuddered...partly in desire, and partly in distaste. Ah, darn! This man had, at the same time, enticed and repulsed her! But, however strong the attraction might have been, it was all primal rather than cerebral. Good riddance, she decided. She could do without men who are not worth her time and attention, however desirable they might seem to be. As for wanting to remain friends, if he thought he could ever qualify to be considered as her friend, he had another think coming!

She laughed suddenly, her ubiquitous sense of humour taking over...it was his loss after all, not hers. She was way out his league, it'd be a lifetime before he'd even meet another like her. Which was why he extended that pitiful excuse of an apology, days after she cut him off from her life! She couldn't care less for it. There were plenty more fish in the sea, and she wasn’t one to lament over could-have-beens. Life was too short to be wasted on small regrets and petty disappointments. She had her road trip to look forward to...a new adventure, a different experience; and she couldn’t wait to set forth on to that journey.

She returned to her desk, her equilibrium restored and her beautiful, full lips curved into a smile. She knew it was not noteworthy enough to have caused such a lapse in her artistry, and she was right...it was just a momentary lapse. Her fingers hovered over the keyboard as she gathered her thoughts, and then came the first words…

“She stepped out in the scorching sun, aware of the intent gaze of the man accompanying her. She paused before opening the door of the car, and turned to him, the large shades covering the expression in her eyes. She smiled, dazzling him with her brightness, “Come on, we are getting late!”

8. Surviving LOVE

“If you fall in love with me, I would make sure I destroy you. Not just bones, but soul too. Torment you and lust over you. Start our journey from the garden of love, down to the dungeons of self-loathing. After all, whatever I touch surely dies.

I would start with that sweet morning and goodnight texts — tell you how much your texts make me smile. I’ll always stay on top of your chat list, remind you of my existence even if I’m not around — or, in a bitter honest way, being busy ignoring your texts.

I would take you on a walk — hold your hand tight, intertwine our fingers and caress the back of your palm with my thumb. I’ll imprint my marks on your hand, and if someone else holds your hand in future, you will think of this moment. You will be living in the present, yet your thoughts will be focused on the past, on me.

I would wrap you in my arms and promise to make your dreams come true, and my words would be such that if the next guy wraps you in his arms and makes promises, you’ll push him away. You’ll think about the fake promises I made. You’ll not trust him, trust me on this.

We would go out on a date, and I would make it special. Promise. Flowers, candles, and everything one can do for their beloved. I’ll give you every memory a guy can give to his girl on that one date. Because I’ll love you madly, deeply, but not truly. Because I would be obsessed with you. I would lust you. Well, that’s me.

I’ll imprint every minute of our date on your soul, so before you relive another date with anyone else, you’ll die — a little more than yesterday…...

I would tug that loose strand behind your ear, letting your earring dangle before pressing my lips against your neck — love bite. A permanent one. I would make sure you don’t live, you die. Because you wanted me to love you.”

(Excerpts from The Scribbled Stories by Omair)

____

Yes, darling, you did all that, and more. Irreparable, irreversible damage. You took your time too, bittersweet and agonizingly long...to tempt and to torment, to entice and then to devastate. Like a master puppeteer, you played with me, controlled my thoughts, till I lost all sense of where I began and where I ended.

Broken my heart, destroyed my soul...yet somehow, you couldn't kill my spirit. Burnt to the ashes, I'd risen like the Phoenix, stronger, more confident than ever. The scars didn't go away, they would be with me forever...deep, permanent. As a constant reminder of you and your betrayal...of how close I came, to being obliterated. You tried your best, darling, but it wasn't enough.

I endured, your efforts to extinguish the fire in me...and I survived “keeping up the struggle against life that is deadly.” And now, I had become a love-survivor...cautious, paranoid, manipulative. With only one goal - to break before I was broken. To win. And never to lose.

So, here I am, worn at the edges, marred and mangled inside, emotionally frozen, with a drought-ridden soul, but undaunted and indomitable in spirit, determined to see it through.

And I know, I will.